14

I was talking to Griff tonight about careers. Trying to get him to think about what might interest him. I'm surprised that I feel so much pressure to get him on a track.. any track. This time he decided he wants to pursue art. He wants to be an illustrator. Funny. Me too. I told him to go to college for it, of course.

I'm sitting there feeling pressure, and pressuring him to think about all of this stuff, and then I think back to being 14. I was consumed by anxiety. Not about what to do when I grew up, but what to do about anything and everything. What to wear, who liked me, who didn't like me. Was I about to lose my best friend. I was so wrapped up in what other people thought of me that I did not even consider what I thought of myself, or who I was. I had OCD so bad, that it took me 3 hours to get ready for bed, and 3 hours to get ready for school. For the most part I went through it alone. I worried about making it to the next day, not about being a grown up.

I see Griff, and he is always smiling. He is SO happy and at ease with himself. He is always willing to help. He works on his school work. He is SO NOT anxious. Thank GOD. Thank you. Thank you.

I told him at that point. "You know Griff, you are already far better off than I was at your age, I think you will be just fine." I dropped the subject.

finally

got to finish Drake's portrait today. It's not perfect, of course...but I like it. It looks like Drake.

I miss him. I miss them both when they are not here.

I'm up WAY too late. must.go.to.bed.

next project

I'm going to attempt to draw this photo:

Bill, Kaida, Phoenix and I spent the weekend fishing again. We all got too much sun. I hate that the sun is bad for us now. I remember enjoying getting burnt when I was a kid. Now I'm on the lookout for suspicious skin activity. Bill and I got burnt. Kaida was properly slathered, as was Phoenix. Somehow I did not get his arms good enough and he got a bit of burn on his arms. oops.



I've got vests to print, a map to make and I must draw. :D

whew

I finished the portrait, and mailed it off yesterday. I'm not crazy about it, but I am never crazy about it right after I finish. It takes a week or two for me to like it. I think that is because I have just spent so much time staring closely at it, while fending off distractions.

coo coo

I am supposed to finish this portrait today, and instead I tear out cuboards to attempt to organize and clean. It has taken me all morning to clean up the mess from pulling stuff out of cupboards. Phoenix and Kaida were helping. sigh

now I'm on here..

O.K. I am stepping away to finish...right after I post a picture. LOL

fishing

No Art to post yet today. I am still working on finishing up this portrait. The goal is to have it done by tomorrow night.

I take it back. My kids are my art too. :P

We went fishing yesterday, and we will probably go again today. Phoenix was so cute. He was determined to go fishing. Once we got to the pond, he acted like he knew why we were there and just what he was supposed to do. He was quite frustrated that he could not do it. I wish I had a picture of it. When we were packing up to leave, I turned around and he had grabbed his pole, and was walking back to the pond. He reminded me of an old man determined to fish, " I don't know what you are doing, but I'm going fishin'!"

frustration:

I'm trying to learn the ropes on this site. It is very different from the other sites I frequent...erm facebook being the only site I can think of...

Maya chewed up Victors glasses today. His mom is thankfully very cool, and his glasses were under warrenty. This dog is chewing us out of house and home. I walk her daily (most days), she has a buddy, but she is still a spaz.

I got my meds switched around again, so today I feel nauseous AND spacey. Reminds me of being pregnant. (no way jose. I am not.)

On the other end of the spectrum:

I am moving right along with the portrait. She agreed to let me go bigger.





I think I'm going to stop offering more than 2 subjects on an 8 x 10. Just isn't enough detail for my liking.

I am going on a date with the old man tonight. We are going to see Robin Hood. Last movie we saw together was August 8, 2008. We saw Dark Knight.

I'm starving, I guess I should be feeding the peeps, before we head out... being a mom and all..

what i asked for..

I got a commission for mother's day. I am very proud and excited... and nervous. Like, sick to my stomach nervous. She ordered the smallest size with 3 subjects. Their faces are so tiny! I just bought a magnifying glass lamp. Hopefully that helps.